Welcome, Traveler!
If you are reading this, you either stumbled upon this by mathematical probability, random curiosity, a related internet search, or you were selected to be a reader. If you were selected, congratulations! You have been identified as the transitory responsible party of Brooklyn Ryder, a natural human person who has the acute affliction of being a living thing on planet Earth. As your first step in this role, you are expected to read, ponder briefly, understand, and abide by the following statement:
On Earth, there are many ways to kill a human, most of which will not be described here. In fact, this is not an exhaustive list of the ways that Brooklyn may be killed by you or others, though we expect that you will refrain from this with the same urgency and importance.
This digital brochure will instead outline some very specific ways you might, but should not, kill Brooklyn Ryder.
If you do not agree to these terms of your appointment to supervise, care for, respond in an emergency to, or otherwise interact with Brooklyn Ryder, we would appreciate you buggering immediately off and finding some other activity to bide your time whilst breathing and metabolizing as you may normally do.
With that, please click below to begin learning how not to kill Brooklyn Ryder.
I will not kill Brooklyn Ryder.
On Earth, there are many ways to kill a human, most of which will not be described here. In fact, this is not an exhaustive list of the ways that Brooklyn may be killed by you or others, though we expect that you will refrain from this with the same urgency and importance.
This digital brochure will instead outline some very specific ways you might, but should not, kill Brooklyn Ryder.
If you do not agree to these terms of your appointment to supervise, care for, respond in an emergency to, or otherwise interact with Brooklyn Ryder, we would appreciate you buggering immediately off and finding some other activity to bide your time whilst breathing and metabolizing as you may normally do.
With that, please click below to begin learning how not to kill Brooklyn Ryder.